


you'll always be my hero (even though you've lost your mind)

by harrytomlinsonwhoops



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Angst, M/M, mentions of Nick and Caroline but only super briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrytomlinsonwhoops/pseuds/harrytomlinsonwhoops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's only fourteen when he falls in love for the first time, fourteen when he meets's Louis Tomlinson in the bathroom at school, and he shouldn't be so lucky so young, but he is.<br/>(Until he isn't.)</p><p> <i>Hunger Games AU</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	you'll always be my hero (even though you've lost your mind)

He's only fourteen when he falls in love for the first time, fourteen when he meets's Louis Tomlinson in the bathroom at school, and he shouldn't be so lucky so young, but he is.

Until he isn't.

*

(Louis had snuck up on him, that first time. "Hiya," he'd chirped, fitting his chin snugly on Harry's shoulder, just the right height for it. Harry'd turned, dick still in his hands, mid-pee.

"Oops," he'd replied, staring at the drops falling on Louis' trousers, and Louis had grinned in response and just shrugged.

"I'm trying to think of a pee related pun right now, but I'm a little bit flustered," he'd finally admitted after a couple of seconds of silence, and Harry couldn't help but laugh, finishing himself off and then offering a- clean- hand to Louis.

"Harry," he'd introduced. "Sorry for that and all. But really, startling someone while they're pissing will always end in flusterment."

Louis had grinned, embracing Harry in a hug, ignoring the handshake entirely. "Pretty sure that's not a word mate, but I'll make a note of it, for next time," Louis had promised, and Harry smiled so hard his face hurt.)

*

He's not surprised, really, when Louis' name gets called out. Although- maybe he is, because every instinct in his body his _screaming_ at him to say the words, just four fucking words to save Louis from the trauma, and he can hear Jay's sobbing, can see four little blonde girls hanging on to each other like their life depends it, and the twins mouths are open in identical forms of horror, as if they're screaming, but no sound is coming out, and Harry literally can not move a single muscle, he's completely frozen in place, until he see's Louis move, out of the corner of his eye, and start walking up to the stage, and by then it's too late. 

He doesn't volunteer, and instead he spends less than five minutes hanging onto Louis like he's drowning, and Louis is a life saver, and Louis promises him that he'll be back soon, promises him that _you're not getting rid of me this easy Curly, don't you worry_ and he laughs even through the tears, though it is somewhat hysterical, and later, he clings to his mums hand as he watches the train takes Louis - and a pretty brunette girl with a heart shaped face- away.

That night, he wakes up screaming. And- oh _god_ , he'd thought that after Nick he would be immune to this, but apparently not.)

*

He see's Lottie and Fizzy at the markets before they start showing the training on television, and they're both a lot more pale then he remembers. He treats them to ice-cream, telling them story after story about tight spots Louis had gotten himself into, and the even tighter spots he'd gotten himself out of, and then hugging them as tightly as he could when he walks them home (not as tight as Louis could, but it's something, he thinks, and when he walks away, the girls look a little more hopeful).

Gemma crawls into his beds most nights now, with Dusty curled up at their feet as she whispers promises she can't keep into Harry's ears, promises that feel wrong, somehow, coming out of her mouth, and not Louis', even if they're all just lies, in the end. He sleeps through the nightmares this time, screaming silently as he watches Louis die four different times, four different ways. His body, broken and mangled at the bottom of a cliff. His throat, slit at the hands of a career. His face, and hands swollen after eating poisonous fruits. His mouth, full of water he never managed to spit out, his eyes forever open in horror. It doesn't matter how it happens- Harry just knows that it will, one day soon.

He wakes up crying.

*

When they show the Chariot Rides, Louis is dressed in a beautiful suit that Harry knows he probably designed himself. It's a dark blue, with little glowing stars all over it, making Louis look like the night sky- except, the night sky has _never_ looked this beautiful, Harry thinks- and compliments Eleanor's lighter blue dress perfectly. She's wearing an orange/yellow headpiece, meant to look like the sun in the sky, Harry reckons. Together, they look beautiful. But separately, Eleanor looks deadly, and Louis just looks terrified.

They receive their training scores, just seven days later, and Eleanor scores a 9, and Harry starts to fear her almost as much as the rest of the tributes, even as she smiles prettily for the cameras. Louis gets a 7, and it's not bad, it's not, but- it's not good, either. 

"It's okay, it's okay," Gemma comforts that night, both of them curled up in Anne's bed, like when they were little. "It's the interviews next, and c'mon, Lou can charm the pants of a snake, you know that Haz, he'll be fine, he'll be fine." Gemma and his mum repeat those three words over and over again, like a mantra, and Harry falls into sleep, hoping against hope that they were right.

And they are, of course, as Louis is the best sweet talker, at even the worst of times, and within seconds he has the entire capitol audience eating out of the palm of his hand, and they're already predicting he'll be the most sponsored, after the girl from District 1, Danielle, with her winning smile, and amazing flexibility (she's apparently aces with an ax, as well, and that night, Harry dreams of her smiling as she chops Louis' limbs off).

*

(Despite their age difference, they'd become friends straight away. Harry helps Louis look after his four sisters when his mum's off at the factory, most times until after dark, and in return, Louis teaches Harry how to sew. 

"Really mate, this is District  _Eight_ , you ought to have been doing this since you could walk," Louis teased, more often than not. Harry always grumbled, sucking the blood from  _another_ pinprick in his thumb, as he glared at Louis in return.

"My job is to make sure everything runs smoothly with the factory equipment, you know that you tosser," Harry had snapped once, before the last reaping, scared beyond reason. Louis had pressed kisses to Harry's forehead in apology, promising him over and over that he wouldn't be chosen, that his name wasn't in there nearly enough times, and even if it was, well Louis wouldn't let Harry steal all the glory, would he?  _You'll never have to spend a single second in that arena Haz, not if I can help it_ , Louis had sworn, and Harry had believed him.)

*

The first night, Eleanor and Louis camp together under a big bush. The arena is just a forest this year, so far as anyone can tell. Apart from the blood bath at the Cornucopia, nothing much exciting had happened. Except, Anne tells Harry, when he wakes up from a nap, that the boy from 5 had found out the hard way that the Arena was littered with land mines, bombs under the ground that went off the second you stepped on them. Louis and Eleanor are careful after that, and it's lucky they're both flexible, and light on their feet. They find a bushy area that doesn't appear to have any land mines, and they set up camp. Eleanor had managed to grab some knives, and when she practices throwing them at the trees around them, Harry can see how she earned her 9 in training. Louis had gotten away with a spear-  _won't do me much good, really, but at least I'll look pretty while throwing it_ , he jokes, and Eleanor grins as she stabs a fish in the stream with it- and some bottles, so they fill those up with the fresh water and get as far away from everyone else as possible.

"I've seen you around, you know," Eleanor comments, through a mouthful of cooked fish. She swallows it down with a sip of water, and tilts her head, studying Louis. "You have sisters, don't you?"

Louis winces, and it's so small, so sudden, Harry wonders if anyone in the world even noticed it, aside from him. "Four," Louis eventually confirms. "Lottie, Fizzy and the twins, Daisy and Phoebe."

Eleanor nods slowly. "I looked after Lottie, once," she informs him. "Years ago, when Fizzy was being born. You were at your dads, I think," she shrugs, and Louis nods. "They're all lovely," Eleanor goes on, and Louis' shoulders square. "I don't have siblings, or any family, really."

"Not even parents?" Louis questions, obviously happy to move on from the subject of his sisters. Eleanor shakes her head, smiling bitterly.

"Mum died having me, and my dad's youngest sister was reaped just after I was born. She was killed, on the first day, and I reckon he went mad. Flung himself off a cliff," she shrugs, and she's trying so hard to be brave, Harry can see that even through the grainy television picture.

Louis sighs, and shuffles closer to her. "Best if we sleep together tonight," he responds. "Body heat and all." Eleanor nods, and laces their fingers together, resting her head on his shoulder. 

"In the morning- assuming we're not dead and all- I'll teach you how to use the spear, to fish. And if we have time, I can help you with throwing knives, maybe," she offers, and Louis presses a kiss to her forehead.

"That'd be nice, though unless you find any patterns and sewing needles, I don't think I can offer a whole lot of skills in return," he jokes, and his eyes crinkle slightly. 

Gemma squeezes Harry's hand, and Anne wraps her arm around him. "He'll be okay," they both murmur, and Harry tries not to believe them (hope is a bad thing, he's learning).

*

(The first time Harry had brought Louis home, Anne seems a bit overwhelmed by him. She sends him into the living room with Gemma, while Harry helps her with dinner, and she seems a bit confused on how to deal with him.

"He does that to everyone, at first," Harry tells her quietly. "Talks too much, I mean. He's a very nervous person, secretly. He'll calm down soon though, promise."

Anne smiles, rubs Harry on the cheek. "He's lovely H, and perfect for you, probably."

Harry blushes pink, looks down at the floor. "I think he's it, for me," he confesses, and Anne opens her mouth when they both hear Gemma laughing louder than they have in ages, since two Games' ago, when her best friend had been reaped, and not come back, and Anne nods her head, smiling.

"I reckon you're right," she'd agreed.)

*

The next morning, Louis is practicing throwing knives with Eleanor, and his third go completely misses the tree, but-

"He's dead," Eleanor remarks, bending over the boys body. "You- right in the eye Lou, wow."

Louis looks like he might be sick. "I- that wasn't- I didn't mean- didn't even _see_ him-" he stutters, and Harry can tell he's struggling not to cry. Eleanor pats him on the back, and then turns the, the-  _body_ , Harry thinks, with a sickening feeling, over and removes the boy of his jacket, a blanket, a sword and some biscuits. After a moment, she braces her shoulders, then pulls the knife out of his face, wiping the blood off on his shirt. 

"D'you want his clothes Lou?" Eleanor asks, with a fake calmness. "They look like they'll fit, and the shoes too, even."

Louis' response is to promptly puke onto his shoes. Eleanor sighs, and removes the dead boys shoes- District 4, Harry thinks, but can't quite remember, as really, he's only been focused on Louis the whole time- and then leads Louis away from the body. The helicopter appears, takes the body away, and the camera cuts back to where Louis and Eleanor are sitting, near a stream now. 

"If you want to live, others will have to die," she's telling him, and Harry thinks that he see's glistening in her eye for a moment, but she blinks, and it's gone. "You have  _four sisters_ and a wonderful mum to think about Louis. You can't afford to be-" she pauses, as though searching for the right words, and then just sighs. "I've seen you with the curly haired boy from the year below us," she says instead. "He looked more miserable than the two of us put together when you got reaped, and if you think that you can just break his pretty little heart by dying, you've got another thing coming," she threatens, and Harry's never spoken to this girl in his life, only seen her once or twice, never given her a second thought, but in that moment, he loves her more than anything.

"Harry," Louis murmurs then, as Eleanor splashes some water on his face. "I have to do this, for Harry," he agrees, and Eleanor rolls her eyes, but rubs his back gently anyway.

"Yeah," she agrees. "For Harry."

*

(The first time they'd kissed, Lou had tasted like strawberries, his lips stained pink with the fruit, and Harry just couldn't help himself, basically. 

"Not that I'm complaining- and believe me, I'm definitely not, as I've been waiting for this for a while, if not my whole life, really- but what was that for?" Louis questions after they've pulled apart, his cheeks as pink as his strawberry stained tongue. 

Harry shrugged, running his hand through his curls. "Been wanting to do it for awhile, is all. Plus strawberries are my favourite fruit, so."

Louis rolled his eyes. "I've only been eating them religiously for the last three months," he complains, but he'd grinned, so Harry hadn't thought it mattered, really. 

"I guess we have a bit to catch up on then," he remarked, and just before the words where barely out of his mouth, Louis was on him again, his hands tangled in Harry's hair, his lips pressing into his, hard. 

"More than a bit, I hope," Louis breathed into the kiss. Harry's only response was to kiss him harder.)

*

By day three, they've mapped out where most of the land mines are, and were becoming quite good at spotting them even without accidentally setting them off, like the third one they'd found. They hear more explosions, and see more faces in the sky at night time, and Harry can barely breathe, sometimes, throat thick with worry.

*

On the fifth day, they're being chased by a boy from District 1, and they split up, and the boy follows Eleanor. Louis chases after them as soon as he realises, and when he finds them, they're standing at the edge of a cliff. He doesn't even hesitate before rushing at them, and they can hear the boy moaning for hours after he falls. Louis shakes the entire time, and when the cannon goes off just after darkness, he vomits, all over Eleanor's shoes.

"Better out than in," Eleanor chirps, drawing a small smile out of Louis. 

Harry doesn't sleep a wink that night.

*

Six days in, and Louis and Eleanor are among the last eleven people left. There was a huge fire set by the girl from District 11 on the fourth night, when the Game Makers turned the heat way down, and she had no jacket, and her clothes were torn so much Harry could see more skin than anything, skin that was turning blue from the cold. When the fire got away from her, it took out four other people.

Louis and Eleanor snuggled close together and didn't sleep for a second that night. Eleanor's lips were blue, and Louis' teeth were chattering so hard Harry though he'd lose a tooth, but in the morning, they were still alive, and that's all that mattered, really.

*

On night seven, Eleanor get's up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom- or well, the hole in the ground Louis had dug a couple meters away from their campsite-, and the second she's out of Louis' sight, she's ambushed by the two girls from District 1 and 2. In the struggle, she manages to shove the red haired one off her, and she instantly falls to the ground, smashing her head on a large rock. Harry hears the crack of her skull even over the sound of the cannon, and wonders what will happen to the victor, wonders how they could ever possibly sleep again.

Louis shows up as Eleanor is wrestling the curly haired curl- Danielle, Harry vaguely remembers, with the pretty smile and deadly ax- and he has a knife in each hand, but he's hesitating, his entire body is _shaking_. Eleanor starts screaming his name, and finally Louis jumps into action. After a bit of struggling- Harry can tell he's trying not to hit El, accidentally- he manages to stick the knife far enough into Danielle's leg that she goes down in a heartbeat. She's screaming, and it's one of the worst sounds Harry's ever heard, and then Eleanor, finally free of her grip, twists the knife further into her leg.

"Finish her," she tells Louis, when Danielle finally settles down into whimpers. Louis shakes his head, and takes a step back, gripping the knife tighter in his hand. His eyes are watering, and Harry thinks that it's a miracle he's gotten this far without having to actively try to hurt someone.

"I can't," he protests, blinking down at the sobbing mess on the floor. Her leg is bleeding heavily, and Harry thinks that if they walked away now, time would finish her off anyway. 

Eleanor sighs, and steps closer to Louis, gently prying the knife out of his hand. "Well, I already do everything anyway," she says, her voice hard, and Harry's heart aches for her. Louis watches as Eleanor moves back to the girl, who's hiccuping now, with murmurs of  _please no I don't want to die please mum god anybody help me_ , and Louis steps forward. 

"No, don't," he says, looking horrified. "I- can we just keep her- like, prisoner, with us for a bit, maybe?" he asks, and Eleanor frowns.

"Lou- that's-"

"No, I know," he interrupts, begging now. "But Eleanor- this is  _murder_ , in cold blood, if we kill her now, and I don't think I can do that."

Eleanor closes her eyes. "I didn't say  _you'd_ have to," she murmurs.

Louis lets out a sob, then, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Please Eleanor," he begs. "My  _sisters_ are watching this right now, and-"

Eleanor sighs, loudly. "Okay," she agrees. "Okay, but- tomorrow night, if nothing else has happened- we'll have to do something. There's only ten of us left, now. We can't afford to have a conscience." 

Louis runs his hands through his hair, then cuts the bottom of his shirt of, tying it in a bandage around Danielle's wound after Eleanor pulls the knife out. "Tomorrow I'll try to forget I even had one," Louis agrees.

*

(The first night they slept together, Harry'd woke up screaming a name, over and over. 

"He was my best friend," he murmured, at Louis' questioning. "Reaped, when we were thirteen. Never came back."

Louis had sat up with the entire night, listening to stories about Nick, and how he lived, how he died. Louis had held him tight and promised that nothing terrible would ever happen to him again, that he- and everyone else he loved- would be safe from the Games, safe from the Capitol.)

*

Danielle thanks him, when he slips her more food than Eleanor had agreed to. He takes the first watch over her, while Eleanor sleeps. 

"We've been watching you two for awhile," Danielle says quietly, when it's obvious Eleanor has drifted off. "Mae didn't want to fight you, as she's- sorry,  _was_ , scared of her, but. I convinced her." She's quiet then, blinking back tears. 

"It wasn't your fault," Louis finally says. Danielle stares at him, and he shrugs. "People have to die, if you want to live," he tells her lightly, like it wasn't just four days ago that he was throwing up as Eleanor said the same words. Danielle nods once, and looks away. "Do you need anything, more food, or water?" Louis offers after a beat, and Danielle shakes her head, still not making eye contact.

They don't talk for the rest of the night, and when Louis wakes Eleanor a couple of hours later to watch her, Danielle doesn't acknowledge the change, until Louis finally falls asleep and Eleanor glances over at her.

"I might kill you before Louis wakes," she begins, almost conversationally. "He's too good for the games, really, but I'm not, so-"

"I'm not either," Danielle interrupts. "It's okay. I think I probably would have killed you back there, if it'd been the other way around," she shrugs, and Eleanor nods. "My name is Danielle, just by the way," she says a beat later.  

"Eleanor," she returns, opening her mouth to continue, before frowning, and closing again. Harry can see the struggle on her face, but finally- "I heard you talking, back in the training center. I'm sorry you had to leave just as you got engaged."

Danielle's face hardens instantly, and Harry doesn't quite remember when he became so good at reading emotions, but even through the dark, terrible picture on his small television screen, he can tell she's struggling not to cry. "I promised him I'd come back to him," she says quietly. "But now- I've killed people. I'm a murderer," she admits, looking almost shocked at the words. "And- he's so pure, so innocent. I don't think I could go back to who I was before. I don't think he'd like me now, y'know?"

Eleanor shrugs. "I didn't have anyone to make that promise to, unfortunately. Or luckily, maybe. But either way- I couldn't even begin to understand how you're feeling," she says, frowning. "Lou could though. He's got a mum and four sisters, and a boy waiting for him too. They're in love, I think."

"Does he worry what will happen if he goes back to him?" Danielle asks, and Eleanor shrugs again.

"We don't talk about those things really," she says. "But- Louis doesn't think he'll make it home, as- well, he saved you, and he hasn't actually hurt anyone else. On purpose, at least, or like- not in defense, I suppose." They're silent for a moment, before Eleanor sighs. "The boy who's waiting for him- Harry- would love him even if he killed all twenty three of us, probably. The way he looks at him- it's like he put the stars in the skies."

"That's how Liam looks at me," Danielle whispers, before frowning. "Looked, I mean." They're silent for a moment, until Danielle silently wipes her face as she shuffles around, sitting up straighter. "My leg's bled through the bandages," she notes, frowning. "And I'm not fit to love Liam anymore. Maybe- maybe, if I could kill people the way I have, maybe I never was, really," she says, and Eleanor frowns. "Do it before he wakes, please," Danielle requests, shutting her eyes, tight. "And- tell him that I'm sorry," she adds, before opening her beautiful brown eyes, filling fast with tears. "Please just make it quick."

Eleanor clenches her teeth, but picks up the knife all the same. Right before Eleanor slits her throat, Danielle smiles through the tears, and whispers. "I think we could have been friends, if things were different." Harry doesn't sleep that night, and neither does Eleanor.  

The next morning, they're down to six. Not long after the helicopter had taken Danielle's body away, there was a fight between the male tribute from 12, and the female from 6. Neither survived.

*

(About a month after he'd met Louis in the bathroom, he'd remembered how they'd actually met before then. It was after Nick's Games, the Games he hadn't come home from, and Harry had been among the small handful of people from school who'd attended his funeral. Louis had been one of the others, and Harry remembered that he'd come up to him and Caroline, both with eyes rimmed red, and offered his condolences.

"Did you know him, then?" Caroline had asked, smiling softly.

Louis bit his lip, and frowned. "Only a bit," he'd shrugged. "We were partners in a Maths project once in grade school. He made fun of my hair, and then tried to hold my hand. I think we could have been friends, if- well, if." 

Caroline'd laughed, and Harry had managed a weak smile. "That's Nick for you," he'd joked, and that'd been it.)

*

Camera crews show up at Harry's house at lunch on the eighth day, to interview him about his relationship with Louis, and  _do you think he'll make it out alive?_

Harry blinks at the woman who asks this, and she stares back, unabashed. Her hair is bright pink, and her skin is tinted purple. Her smile is fake as well, Harry notices. "That's what I'm hoping," he finally responds, and the man with blue hair grins.

"Did you ever think he'd get this far?"

Harry shrugs. "Lou's pretty determined," he answers vaguely, and the man nods, accepting that. 

"Now- Eleanor's mentioned yours and Louis' friendship a couple of times now, but the man himself hasn't really brought it up yet. Any idea why that would be?" he questions.

"Um, basically, I reckon that he wouldn't want to think about it, because it hurts too much, probably," he shrugs. "And- it's not a friendship, actually. We're dating, basically. Have been for a year now."

"Are you in love with him?" he asks next, and Harry doesn't even blink before answering.

"Since the second I saw him."

The woman with the pink hair and purple skin wipes away a tear- fake, Harry reckons- and holds her hand over her heart. "That's beautiful Harry. What will you do if Louis comes home to you?"

Harry tilts his head, considering. "Never let him out of my sight again," he answers, and the woman smiles softly.

"And if he doesn't?" she asks, her voice softer now, her eyes somewhat apologetic.

"I can't let myself think of that," Harry answers honestly, and Gemma appears at his side instantly, curling an arm around him.

*

Harry's mum wakes him up with the news that it's just Louis, Eleanor and the girl from District 3 left on the tenth night. The Game Makers try several tactics to get them to end up together, but Louis and Eleanor are having none of it, and manage to avoid everything they throw at them, while still avoiding District 3's tribute (she'd been nicknamed Stabbi, by the Capitol, as her preferred method of killing was to stab almost every inch of her victims skin, slowly and and with shallow, and then letting them bleed to death. Her name is actually Abbi, so it's quite appropriate, Harry thinks). Finally though, the sun rises, and the Game Makers produce a flood that drives Eleanor and Louis straight towards Abbi's camp. When she see's them, dripping wet, she smiles.

"Oh good, I've been hoping you two would show up," she announces, before aiming a knife in Eleanor's direction, throwing it so fast Harry almost misses it. Eleanor dodges it, and is on the girl in a second, her own knife in hand. 

"Funny," Eleanor manages to spit out even as they're wrestling. "As you won't be seeing us- or anything- for much longer."

Abbi grins, and Harry can see the conflict on Louis' face as he decides what to do, but when Abbi pins Eleanor, the choice is made for him. She's seemingly forgotten him, more involved in her fight with Eleanor, or- maybe she doesn't even see him as a threat, Harry thinks. Louis finally manages to get a good shot, and when he reaches her, he presses his spear up against her back, looks up at the sky, and whispers  _I'm sorry_ , before pushing down _hard_. It takes a few seconds for the cannon to go off, and when it does, Louis falls to the floor. Eleanor pushes the body off of her, and starts pulling the spear out, before stopping. "Guess we don't exactly need this anymore," she muses, and Louis retches. 

Harry's eyes fill with tears, and his mum murmurs _oh god_ over and over. Gemma's whiter than he's ever seen before, and Harry almost vomits when he realises that  _this is it_. Either Louis will live, or-

"You deserve this," Louis spits out, picking up Eleanor's knife and thrusting it in her hands. "You've- I'd be  _dead_ without you, and-"

Eleanor lets the knife fall to her feet. "I already told you Lou, I've got no one to go home to," she reminds him, her voice shaky. "I- you have to do this Lou. It has to be you."

Louis sobs, and tears are falling faster down his cheeks than Harry's ever seen before. He just keeps mumbling  _no no no no I can't do this no no no_ and they're hugging now, Eleanor's fingers tangled in Louis' hair, and Harry knows that Louis wont do it,  _can't_ do it, and strangely- he doesn't think Eleanor can either.

"Let's just go back to camp, okay," Eleanor eventually says, and her eyes are dry, now. Louis nods, and slowly lets himself be dragged off to the place they've spent the last nine days together.

*

(When Nick had died, it'd been at the hands of the female tribute from 4. She was vicious, and the favourite to win that year, and she literally  _ripped_ her victims apart, and- well, Nick was no exception. 

Harry had replayed his death on repeat for weeks months  _years_ after it had occurred, and it wasn't until Louis started holding his hand and kissing his forehead that things finally started to get better).

*

Harry knows what Eleanor's planning almost before she does, he thinks. She's leading him the long way back to their little clump of bushes, and her eyes are darting around so quickly that Harry worries they'll fall out of her head. Louis pauses once, to be sick again, and Eleanor shoves him over when he's done vomiting, and runs off, leaving Louis shocked.

The ground explodes after a few seconds, but Harry hears Louis' screams anyway.

*

It's only after the smoke clears that Harry realises there wasn't a canon, and in that moment, he see's Eleanor's body, legs blown off. Louis rushes over to her instantly, and cradles her in his arms.

"I'm dying Lou," Eleanor mutters, wincing in pain.

"No,  _no_ , you're okay, this will all be okay," Louis returns, crying. "You can't die on me Eleanor, you just can't."

Eleanor lets out a breathy laugh, blood bubbling out of her lips. "My legs've been blown off Lou," she tells him. "I know you're aces at sewing and stuff, but even you cant fix this." Louis sobs loudly then, and Eleanor reaches her left hand up to pat his cheek. "There's nobody else left Lou, except you. You can do this."

Louis shakes his head, his sobs increasing. "No, no, no," he argues hysterically. "I can't, no, you're better than me, goddammit Eleanor, it was supposed to be  _you_."

Eleanor's the one shaking her head now, and there's tears streaming down her cheeks. "If it was me, nobody would care. I'd be going back to an empty house Lou, and empty  _life_. You- you've got a family, sisters and a mum and a boyfriend. People who  _need_ you to come home."

"This isn't how it's supposed to end," Louis sobs.

Eleanor smiles softly, pulling Louis' knife out of his pocket. "It's always been my intention for it to end this way," she tells him. "I- can you sing to me, please, before you do it?" she asks, the tears falling harder now. Louis nods, and half way through the song, Eleanor smiles softly, and shuts her eyes. 

When the knife connects with her throat, her mouth opens as if to scream, but no sound comes out. He makes it quick.

*

After that, Harry can barely focus on the interview, and the replay of the games. He spends the next two days on the edge of his seat, peeking out the window every two seconds, just waiting for Louis to come back.

Which he does, eventually, getting off the train with black rings around his eyes, hair mused from sleep, and skin paler than before, and instantly he's greeted by all of his crying sisters and his mum, and after what feels like an eternity, his eyes find Harry's in the crowd, and they're pulled together, almost by gravity. And while Harry knows that logically, everything has changed, the feel of Louis' arms around him hasn't, and this, if anything, is enough for him.

But then- Louis is different, after the Games. He and his family move into one of the Victor's houses, and it takes Harry more than five minutes to get to his house now. He's quieter now, all sad smiles and no laughs, and he flinches every time someone touches him, including Harry. And even though he came home just like he promised, he didn't come home  _whole_ , and Harry still sleeps with Gemma curled around him, still wakes up screaming, like he knows Louis does.

Because sometimes he still sees the remains of Eleanor in Louis' eyes, and he knows it burns, knows it aches, because there's still nights when he wakes up gasping for a necklace that's no longer around his neck, even though sometimes he swears it's there, choking him, preventing him from getting the air he so desperately needs, but. Two years ago, Nick had worn it into the Games, and when he died, well.

There wasn't enough of his body left to recover the necklace.

*

They're buried side by side, Nick and Eleanor. Harry and Louis visit them, sometimes, and one day, when they're standing on the graves of their dead best friends (because no matter how you felt about someone before the Games, if you spent 9 days protecting them, and being protected by them, they became more than just your fellow tribute) Louis proposes. 

"I know we're only young, but, I could have died, this young, and so- I don't want to live another day without being with you, in every way possible, and so, please marry me, so we can spend forever together," he rambles, and Harry's answering yes even as the words are tumbling out of Louis' mouth.

*

The wedding is simple, with their mums and sisters the only guests. The next time they visit Nick and Eleanor, there's matching rings on their fingers, and Louis looks almost okay, again. Not like before, but-

It's something, Harry thinks, and he'll take it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading. i would truly love it if any of you could spare the time to watch this [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEUumIaxM9M&app=desktop), and then consider sharing it or donating to [this cause](http://prf.donorpages.com/TeamEnzoFundraising/CatherinaLlontop/). a little boy that i know was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease called progeria. this disease causes him to age at rapid rates, and children who suffer from this have a life expectancy of only 15 years. enzo is currently the only child with this disease in the entirety of australia, and he and his family would appreciate any awareness you could raise or any funds you can spare. if you're unable to financially help, please consider even sharing the video so maybe it will reach someone who is able to. again, thank you for reading.
> 
> as usual, find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/slytherinlarry_) and [tumblr](http://slytherin-larrie.tumblr.com).


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